Hey folks – got a great question in my mailbag that applies to so many of us ……..
Q : Help ! My life is running me ! Give me pointers before I literally go crazy !! Mindy, New Zealand.
A : We’re all kinda frazzled in our own way so don’t feel that you are the exception to the norm. You might just need to tweak a few areas.
Here are 3 common reasons and solutions …. implement one a week for the next 3 weeks and you wont go crazy ….. you might even get really empowered.
Reason 1) You’re living in the ‘now’ instead of being one or two steps ahead.
Solution 1) Take at least one hour a week to plan ahead to ensure that you are ahead of the game. Think like a waiter, always with your eye on the next course.
Reason 2) You’re too tired to think straight.
Solution 2) Your body needs to rest and your mind needs to breathe. Stop thinking that you will ‘get’ some time to relax and realise that it is up to you to ‘take’ the time to relax. Choose a specific activity and plug it into your calendar. eg. Tuesday 8pm Turn off phone and relax with good book.
Reason 3) It’s all too much.
Solution 3) Here’s your salvation in one word : Delegation. It is not fun but is a life saver. Think outside of the box …. track your time and see what you can outsource. Want the back up without the responsibility ? Consider a virtual assistant.
What’s holding you back from organizing your space ? You know how great you’d feel if your space was under control. Chances are you know exactly when. You say to yourself “I’ll clean out that office one quiet evening when I have the energy and I have something inspiring to watch”. Or “I’ll round all the clutter up and decide whether to throw it out or give it away one quiet morning when the phone stops ringing and the baby is playing happily”.
Sounds to me like you’re waiting for the perfect storm. Our busy lives rarely allow us those quiet moments.
Instead of waiting for that magical moment when the planets all align and there is quiet in our world how about jumping in an doing 5 or 10 minutes right now ? Then repeat again until it’s done. It’s amazing what can be done in those short bursts of energy.
Quit letting all those good intentions and empowering ideas pile up while you wait for that fleeting gone-in-a -flash perfect storm.
Developing resilience in childhood is crucial to inoculate against depression in adulthood and has the added benefit of empowered childhood years too.
Here are the main 6 vital skills I’ve taught clients of all ages and strive to teach my children daily …..
1) Be imperfect. Every human being is imperfect. Make a mistake each day and learn from it. Celebrate your mistakes, it means you’re learning something.
2) Allow other people to be imperfect too. If we learn to lower the bar for those around us, we are allowing others to be human too. Friends will forget to call back, waiters will forget the shake, siblings will do mean stuff. . It’s okay if the world doesn’t smile upon us 24/7.
3) Let Them Own It. Some people in our lives are not just imperfect, they can be mean too. Then we Let Them Own It. The angry driver honking Mom on the highway …Let Them Own It. The mean girl in the playground …. Let Them Own It. And the bossy big brother who wont let you hang out in his room …. Let Him Own It too.
4) Know your own strengths and weaknesses. Are you a computer whiz ? Great at trivia ? Worlds quickest texter ? What are you good at ? Identify your key areas. Now be brutal … what are you not naturally good at ? Spelling ? Foreign languages ? It’s perfectly normal to not be able to do it all. However, if there is an area you would like to get better in, think of lucrative ways to make it happen. It is also useful to know your personality strengths and weaknesses. There are free quizzes online by Dr Seligman to help identify them.
5) Take good care of yourself. There’s no rocket science over here, just if you want to maximize your strengths you have to give yourself the strength the do it.
Here are the big 5
1) Eat well (think protein), don’t let more than 3 hours pass without eating.
2) Drink water, lots of it.
3) Choose your exercise of choice, daily.
4) Get to sleep on time more often than not.
5) Be proactive about healthcare and dental care
6) Learn to trust yourself. With self confidence ie confidence in the ability to live with yourself you will go far. Allow yourself to make mistakes, don’t punish yourself. Learn to re-trust yourself in small increments. Celebrate small steps and don’t be scared to dream real big. Just break the journey down into small bite size steps.
COLUMBUS, Ohio – Sitting up straight in your chair isn’t just good for your posture – it also gives you more confidence in your own thoughts, according to a new study.
Researchers found that people who were told to sit up straight were more likely to believe thoughts they wrote down while in that posture concerning whether they were qualified for a job.
On the other hand, those who were slumped over their desks were less likely to accept these written-down feelings about their own qualifications.
The results show how our body posture can affect not only what others think about us, but also how we think about ourselves, said Richard Petty, co-author of the study and professor of psychology at Ohio State University.
“Most of us were taught that sitting up straight gives a good impression to other people,” Petty said. “But it turns out that our posture can also affect how we think about ourselves. If you sit up straight, you end up convincing yourself by the posture you’re in.”